Just desserts!

We all know, I've been pretty vocal about my feelings towards Carlos Tevez on the pages of this blog.  And even though he is wearing the blue shirt of Manchester City again after his self-imposed exile, I still don't have much time for the stocky Argentinian.

I agree that on his day and when he's about eight pounds lighter, he can be the most influential player on the football pitch and the star of the team.  But I still have a bad taste in my mouth regarding his actions over the past year.

I concur that the life of a professional footballer is somewhat different to mine as a sports journalist.  but there should be a level of professionalism in both, particularly as a member of a team.  Okay, maybe this doesn't apply to a boxer or a sprinter.  But when you participate in a team sport or action, sometimes you have to ignore your selfish instinct and consider your fellow employees for the good of the group.

While he has been playing golf and inhaling a high-carb diet, his teammates have been working their arses off to try and give the Etihad stadium its first Premier League trophy.  As they were struggling in the Champions League and bombing out of the Europa League, he was nowhere to be seen.

And now he returns, possibly to be their saviour as they have started to crumble in recent weeks.  Admittedly he came on against Chelsea last night and played a crucial part in the winner, after a tidy one-two with scorer Samir Nasri.  Even though Roberto Mancini and the players keep referring to him as 'one of us'; I get the feeling they are merely toeing the party line.

Don't be surprised to hear them all change their tune when they've got autobiographies to sell in a few years time.  Jaap Stam, anyone?

So as the noisy neighbours continue to welcome home the prodigal son with the open arms of Edward Scissorhands, I have a little idea.  A little scheme if you will, to remind Tevez that when you behave like a spoilt child you can expect to get punished as one.

My advice to Mr Mancini is to play him, particularly in the Manchester derby where he will inevitably score the winner against his former club.  Use him; in the same way he has used the club as a shop window.  And when he gets to the penultimate ninth game, before the tenth one needed to get a league title medal.  Drop him.  Don't even bother to put him on the bench.

Inform him that he will NOT be collecting a Barclays Premier League winners medal; because plain and simply, he doesn't deserve one.  Then tell the owners to sell him to whoever is mad enough to want him.

Then go home, open a bottle of red and start your planning for the next season.